


there are things we can have but can't keep

by CharlotteDaBookworm



Series: in a sky of a million stars (it flickers, flickers) [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Consquences of Magic, Gen, Magic, Nyx Ulric's Self-Esteem, Revelations, Royal Bastard AU, pre-time travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22133791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlotteDaBookworm/pseuds/CharlotteDaBookworm
Summary: “Is your magic killing you?” His brother asks, demands, and behind the anger and the grief and the fear, Nyx can see the great King that Noct will be one day.The King that Nyx likely won’t survive to see.When he smiles this time, it’s smaller – resigned, accepting. Apologetic; because Nyx knows that he’s about to break his little brother’s heart. “It always has been.”Or: Nyx goes hunting, Libs lets some things slip, and Noct is suddenly faced with the fact that Nyx's magic is slowly killing him
Relationships: Libertus Ostium & Nyx Ulric, Noctis Lucis Caelum & Nyx Ulric
Series: in a sky of a million stars (it flickers, flickers) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1505858
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64





	there are things we can have but can't keep

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own FFXV. The title of the fic is - shockingly enough - from Linkin Park's 'One More Light'

* * *

Hauling the cooling corpse behind him, he steps onto the haven with an exhilarated – and dusty – grin and a cheerful call of: “I found dinner!”

The kids all stare at him. And then they look at the anak corpse. And then back to him. And back to the anak corpse. They take a step away from him, still staring.

_Rude_.

“What the fuck Nyx?” Libs asks, clambering out of their weathered old tent and glaring at him. And yeah, okay, anak meat isn’t exactly the _nicest_ but it was the best nearby and they have some spices – he doesn’t doubt that Ignis will be able to make something delicious of it; the boy is blessed in the kitchen.

Still, he doesn’t know why Libs is complaining.

“Meat,” he says blankly because meat is meat and he’s still running high on the adrenaline of a half-decent hunt and the softening of the pain that usually prickles at his veins. Overkill, maybe, against an anak of all things but he can’t regret it now even if he might later. “I went hunting.” _Obviously._

Why is Libs still glaring at him? “ _Alone?_ While you’re still injured?” _What about your magic?_ He asks without words and his eyes dark over him, desperate and familiar, lingering on where scars that are two and a half decades old are hidden beneath his sleeves.

Nyx relaxes, shaking his head a fraction to his friend’s subtle relief. “Like a couple of anaks were gonna cause me any problems. Nothing happened Libs.” He stresses with a roll of his eyes, well-used to the man’s mother-henning. Not that he can blame him, knowing exactly why and how the habit started, but his injuries are mostly healed, now. As much as they probably are going to be and Libs- sometimes Nyx swears Libs lives in more terror of his magic than Nyx himself does.

And they needed meat anyway – everyone else was busy and they can’t actually live on just the vegetation they’ve scrounged up and what little there is in Noctis’ armiger; as much as it’s hilarious to try to convince Noct otherwise.

“You’re _bleeding_ , you idiot,” Libs says roughly as he steps forward, frowning at his face.

It’s probably telling that the first place he thinks to check is his nose and his ears. Libertus obviously thinks so, the way that his eyes darken with old rage and the nasty look he darts at the curious kids (he stops when Nyx frowns at him but it’s the same look his oldest friend used to direct at the Kin- at his father). When he checks himself over, however, all he finds is a shallow cut across the line of his jaw that’s already stopped bleeding. He shrugs it off, “it’s fine, just a scratch-”

He brings up his hand to probe at the cut and his sleeve slips to reveal reddened skin.

“ _Damn it, Nyx!_ ” His best friend snaps with a scowl. “Just because you’re dying anyway doesn’t mean you can just-”

“What?”

His eyes widen as he meets Libs’ own shocked ones at the quiet interruption.

Fuck. _Fuck_.

Swinging around, he takes in the sight of his little brother who looks like they’ve just punched him in the gut, breathless and wide-eyed and shock pale. He looks _young_ – every inch the twenty-year-old he is – and his eyes are dark with fear. Nyx takes two steps, wrapping Noct in his arms and swallowing as his shaking hands clutch at his shirt. “Shit,” he curses, pulling his brother closer. “Noct, Noct, I’m fine kiddo,” he croons in his ear. “I’m fine.” He says again, and he is.

He’s fine.

Because his life has always had a time limit; Nyx has known that since he was 8 and burning alive on the floor of that clearing, since he was 8 and sobbing silently at night because the pain was _too much_. Even grandfather can’t help, for all of the training that he’s given him. But that’s okay; Nyx is a storm and storms are born, overwhelmed by the power they contain, and then they fade away.

His only dream, these days, is that when his magic finally kills him it’s because he’s using it for something good.

And his brother is that.

Noct is the best of them and Nyx knows he won’t be leaving him alone when the time comes.

(Even if the way that his brother – his _baby brother_ – shakes in his arms makes him wish that he could hold him close and promise to never leave him)

“I’m fine,” he repeats and Noct just stares at him.

“ _No_.” Libs snarls and the pain there – the rage and the hurt and the boundless grief – serves as such a reminder of how much Nyx hurts those around him that he wants to flinch away. “He isn’t. His magic is killing him, just like _the ring_ tried to kill him, just like his magic has _always_ been killing him.”

Noct pulls away and his eyes are purple and doesn’t that _hurt?_ **“What.”**

He stumbles back a step – away from the magic – and Libs is by his side, but his best friends focus is on the boy in front of them.

He scoffs, the same scoff he always gave about the _royal family_ who Libs has always blamed. “What? You mean you don’t know what your fa-”

_“Libertus.”_ He barks, an order as his little brother pales and he’s had _enough_. His eyes flare green _green_ **green** and Nyx flinches, leaning back into Lib’s hand on his shoulder and forcing the magic down before it bursts free. His blood starts to burn, tingling edging its way across his skin, before he shoves it away – puts it back in his blood, in his chest, where it _belongs_ – and he can feel his nose start to bleed with the strain of it.

_Shit_.

“Nyx…?”

“I’m fine, little King.” He turns to Noct with a reassuring smile, wiping the blood away easily.

Libs scoffs, again, but it’s more tired now than anything as he looks between them – between the friend he’s known since birth and the King who is little more than a child. “Yeah, right. Maybe try that one when something who has seen you do the _exact same thing_ – when ten seconds before you were writhing on the ground and stifling screams of agony as you magic burned you alive with emerald flames – isn’t standing right next to you.”

“Is it true?”

Nyx turns to his brother, who has paled so much he worries the boy is going to faint but his eyes are shadowed with horrible realisation and so much _grief_ and _pain_ and this is why he hadn’t wanted him to know. He hadn’t wanted to hurt yet _another_ person he cared for. “Noct-”

“Is your magic killing you?” His brother asks, _demands_ , and behind the anger and the grief and the fear, Nyx can see the great King that Noct will be one day.

The King that Nyx likely won’t survive to see.

When he smiles this time, it’s smaller – resigned, accepting. Apologetic, even; Nyx has never wanted to break his brother’s heart. “It always has been.”

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah. i've not really got the energy for pretty much anything rn but uni starts up again tomorrow and i'm hoping that'll kickstart something. either way, have this little middle piece to tide y'all over until i actually have inspiration for _something_


End file.
